Not Meant To Be (Laurel, 42)

2015-11-03 | Personal PAC

I always used a condom. Always. Except that one time, when I had sex on my birthday with a stranger. I thought I had a condom with me, but it turns out I didn't. He thought he had one, but didn't. We were drunk, and I guess we didn't pull out in time. I didn't have any experience with that anyway, since I always used condoms. He left. I didn't even know his name. I was living in another country on the other side of the planet. Three weeks later, I started noticing changes in my body and figured out that I was pregnant. I didn't think it was fair to raise a child who would never find out who their father was, and I didn't have the means or support system to do it by myself. Luckily, abortion is legal in the country I was living in. I went to the hospital. It was a birthing hospital, filled with pregnant women and babies. Naturally the doctor assumed that I wanted to keep it. He told me he was anti-choice and would not do the procedure, but he passed me along to another doctor that would. At this hospital, they knock you out for an abortion, so I have no memory of the procedure. I was in pain afterwards. I called in sick to work and rested for the remainder of the day. I still think about it sometimes. I would have had a 12 year old by now. But it wasn't meant to be. I'm glad I had the choice, and I don't regret it at all. But there are certain family members that I can never tell, because they would be too hurt that this is the choice I made.